Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
