did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize