Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
