Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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