She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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