She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize