I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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