We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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