Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize