if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
