Only a mothe r could love this liver
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
