I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
