We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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