sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
