i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't deserve a penis
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
