Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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