the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize