Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
