Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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