he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
