My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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