he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
