Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize