Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
