i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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