Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
