two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
