Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize