My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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