goodnight i made you a song goodbye
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
