it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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