If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
