my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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