Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
