Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
