P.S. I can't hear my feet
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
