You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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