Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
