I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
