Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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