my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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