Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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