***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Is it penis luge time yet?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
