So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize