whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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