am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
