i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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