i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Watching her eat just hurts me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
