oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
