We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
whose parrot is this?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
