What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
