His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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