is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
