barbara walters just said penis...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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