its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
