I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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