you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
