my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
