I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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