Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
