careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
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