OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
