no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
