He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
