is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I will be naked everywhere
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
