She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
