your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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