my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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