Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is it because I queefed?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
